My friend and I were having a conversation, and she told me that I was emotionally detached. My first response was to immediately disagree with her statement. I came up with numerous reasons as to why I wasn’t emotionally detached. After a while I sat and thought about that particular conversation, and started researching what it means to be emotionally detached. Emotional detachment can have two different things. One of the meanings refers to an inability to connect and the second meaning is dealing with anxiety by avoiding certain situations that trigger that particular feeling.
I hate to admit this but my friend was right. I am emotionally detached sometimes depending on the situation and the people who I am around. What made me emotionally detached? Well I just realised that people aren’t as genuine as they seem. I guess what hurts the most is that family also falls into the category of not being genuine. The older you get the more you realise that just because someone is a part of your family it doesn’t mean that they care about you. It is a hard lesson to learn but a valuable one to learn.
To be honest this realisation hurt. It hurt so much that a part of me did become emotionally detached to protect myself from the pain of disappointment. Being disappointed by someone who you love and value extremely hurts. This situation made me realise that the only person who you can depend on is God. My high school teacher once said only God can show you someone’s true feelings towards you, because we only see what we want to see. Therefore it is better to trust God to lead you towards people who genuinely care about you.
I also learnt the importance of valuing my space. Valuing my space means that I don’t let anyone who I feel won’t add any value into my space. This is my way of me guarding my heart. I surround myself with people who I feel really care about me. I also go out of my way to avoid spending time with people who I feel do not have my best interest at heart. Honestly life is too short to be miserable. Cutting people out of your life is never easy but sometimes it is necessary. Forgiving and letting go of past pain is also a must. Holding grudges hurts you more than the other person.
Remember that how other people have treated you is not a reflection of how other people are. The trick is to find people who you think are worth the risk. Even if you do find that they aren’t worth the risk treasure the good memories, and learn from the bad ones.Trust in God, follow his directions and trust his judgement.